"Once upon a time, Whoopi and I did Hollywood Squares for the very first time...and you didn't see any of it..."
so says Tom in an introduction on the night of December 21, 1998. During the holiday season from December 21, 1998 to January 1, 1999, people were exposed to Squares episodes that were never seen before, until then. They were known to many as the "lost episodes."
There were two weeks' worth of these shows, and they were all taped at the beginning of August, 1998. They were supposed to be the episodes that would start the whole series off on September 14, 1998, but since the episode cycles were in a different order, they decided to show the episodes during the holidays as sort of like a Christmas present to the viewers. Here's how I saw these special shows.
Week 1 December 21-25, 1998
Stars: Traci Bingham, Jeff Cesario, Brian Austin Green, Richard Jeni, Laraine Newman, Caroline Rhea, Jeffrey Tambor and Bruce Vilanch.
I guess you could say that it was a real "estrogen fest" with the presence of Brian. Whenever he would get called on during the week, all the girls in the audience would scream like crazy. Tom pointed out in the fifth show that he never got screams like that, so the audience showed their affection. In the first show, Richard Jeni was on the cellular phone to his agent, complaining why he never got picked...he got picked twice, which included the Secret Square round. Bruce Vilanch showed off the latest in the tacky T-shirt line, Traci Bingham. Laraine Newman made fun of a famous dog race in Show 3, calling it "the Pooper-Scooper 10K," which I had to admit was pretty funny. And poor Jeff Cesario was heartbroken in a couple of the shows that week, because he never got picked! What I liked about Show 4 is the Marlon Brando impersonation Tom did before the third round. And you have to admit, it was pretty good, except for when he stumbled on the word "cash total". STELLA!!! Too bad the camera blunder didn't really occur (see my funny moments page for the story), it would have been a real riot!
Week 2 December 28, 1998-January 1, 1999
Stars: Carlos Alazraqui, Katsy Chappell, Dr. Drew and Adam Corolla, Elaine Hendrix, Bronson Pinchot, Caroline Rhea, Craig Shoemaker and Bruce Vilanch.
Word of advice...never put Craig, Carlos and Bronson in the same row, all hell could break loose! And that's what happened in the first show of the week (Show #6). Those three got jiggy with it in a big way, before the second commercial break, they "shook their booties" at the camera while the theme song played. Afterwards, Tom proclaimed them the "bunwarmers." Katsy Chappell complained after a commercial break that nobody checked her butt before she was assigned her square, Adam Corolla said he took care of it. The best joke of the entire week was quipped by Bronson, when Tom asked what you would get if silicone oil and boric acid were combined, Bronson had this to say-"Pamela Anderson's Breasts!" What a laugh riot, everyone was cracking up! The male contestant the next night showed off his greatest asset-a Speedy Gonzales tattoo that Carlos dared him to share. And there was something never seen since Week 4, the rarest of the rare...a tie game (which the male contestant won, I might add)!
Although the rest of the week was prety tame, the highlight of the week came in Show 6. After the time-up signal sounded, the Xs and Os were tabulated, and the female contestant wound up with $750 for her three squares. But that didn't stop there. Bronson ACTUALLY got out of his square and presented the female contestant with...HIS PANTS!!! Weird, huh?
All in all, the shows were great, it was interesting to see how Squares 98 all came together. And I guess you can say the rest is history!
A big thank you to Production Coordinator Brian Conn for clearing all of this up for me.